Remembering My Cousin- Eli Fouts...

I haven't had a chance to write much as we have been pretty constantly on the go since Nicaragua, but I wanted to take a moment and write a quick blog. I studied abroad in Costa Rica four years ago, in the spring of '05. My brother and sister came to visit, and we had a great 10 days traveling around the country. As their visit ended we received news that our cousin Eli had died in a car accident. Of course hearing news like this one's heart stops for a few seconds as reality tries to set in. Fortunately my siblings were back in the states in time for the funeral, but I was unable to attend as my semester abroad was still finishing.

It's not just around this time of year that I remember him, he still pops in my head often. We were supposed to meet up and go out to eat when I got back from my study abroad, and I often daydream of what we would have talked about. I was excited to share with him my adventures and encourage him to explore his world as well. He was such an intelligent kid, and I was just beginning to see him turn into a young man. I feel like we were just getting to a point where we could really relate to each other when he passed away.

I'm not writing this trying to be a downer, I just want the people who cared about and loved my cousin to know they are not alone in missing him. I have dreams where the two of us are just sitting and chatting and passing hours along slowly. My cousin and I had many differences throughout our childhood, but my memories of him are positive. I still remember his smile and the way he laughed. I remember how he looked like the boy from Home Alone and everytime I watched that movie I envisioned it being Eli. I remember how he rode his bike. I remember how he always peeked at his Christmas presents early and wrapped them back up. (yes grandma, this happened). I remember how proud he was of his younger sister, Margie. I remember many things very clearly. As many people know, when you lose a loved one it's hard not to focus on how much you miss them. But, I believe its better to keep on living in their memory and celebrating the life they had. A piece of them can live on inside of you.

I love you, Eli.